Behind the Substack with Dr. Vicki Connop

Read the full interview with the author of The Therapy Room.

Today, I’m sharing another interview from the series I call Behind the Substack.

You might enjoy this series if you are interested in the writing process, routines, growth strategies, and tips for managing your time between Substack and other important commitments. In each interview, writers will share their strategies for growing their publications, tips for managing publishing schedules, and advice on self-care.

Working on your publication can be overwhelming and confusing and requires much effort and persistence.

• Think of the Behind the Substack series as a collection of learning nuggets you can apply to your Substack journey.

• I view Behind the Substack as an opportunity to collaborate with my fellow writers, share readership, and learn from each other. If you'd like to be featured, please DM me.

With all that said, let me introduce today’s writer.

Dr Vicki Connop

, creator and writer behind The Therapy Room. I am going to use Vicki’s own words to describe her newsletter because I love her description. It is on the point and amazing with a pinch of humour:

“If you’ve ever wanted a peek inside the mind of a therapist (without the consulting fees), you’re in the right place.”

Let’s take a peek inside the mind of a therapist, shall we?

1. What’s your favourite coffee?

 Erm, can I fly the flag for tea? Coffee is just too activating for my nervous system. For me, teas are comfort and medicine. I have a draw full of ‘uppers’ (the stimulating ones) and ‘downers’ (the calming ones) – a tea for every occasion. My current favourite is a brand called Pukka, who make a dreamy chamomile, fennel, and marshmallow root combo. 

2. Can you tell me about the moment you decided to start writing? Where were you, and what inspired you?

 I have always loved to write and have journalled since my teens. I wrote academic papers during my years of study and training in clinical psychology and, from time to time, I would write blogs on my business website. But I always harboured a fantasy of writing more creatively.

Early last year, I took an online course in memoir writing, which I loved. It was a revelation to me how many words came pouring out of me, no matter the prompt. And through the break-out rooms on Zoom, I became a bit braver about biting the bullet and sharing what I’d written (unedited). At the end of the course, someone mentioned a website I’d never heard of called Substack, which could help to grow an audience for your writing. I hopped online, signed up immediately, and haven’t stopped writing since. I think it’s lucky I didn’t spend any time looking at what others were doing on Substack before I took the plunge as I may have been intimidated and allowed my imposter syndrome to take over. But by the time I discovered so many other great writers on here, I was already off and already had subscribers. It just felt like the right place at the right time, and I haven’t looked back.

3. How has using Substack changed or influenced your writing style or topics?

I generally aim to write whatever wants to come to me on any given day - whatever is capturing my attention. I notice though, that I am influenced by what people respond to the most. I’ve also been hugely inspired by so many talented writers on here and I’m sure I’m adopting aspects of other people’s styles, without necessarily being fully conscious of it.

4. What strategies or efforts have been the most successful in growing your readership on Substack?

I haven’t been very strategic. I just write and post and see what happens. Initially, growth seemed to come mainly through commenting on other people’s work and engaging in Notes. These days I tend to get an uptick of subscribers when a post really resonates or gets shared generously.

5. Can you share an example of something you tried that worked better than expected? 

I tried one of those ‘20 things’ posts. Mine was ’20 things I’ve learned from 20 years in the therapy room’. This was unexpectedly successful and is still my most popular post.

6. Since you’ve started your publication, what do you consider your biggest learning so far? 

Overcoming the crippling self-doubt and shame that can come initially when you start to share something you have created with the world, and expose it to other people’s judgement and opinions. There’s an internal voice that says ‘Who do you think you are?’ But I’m listening to it less and less, and I no longer find those moments after hitting the ‘publish’ button so excruciating. I’m holding it all more lightly and having fun with it. 

7. Can you walk us through how you plan and organise your content for your Substack publication? 

I post fortnightly because that frequency feels more spacious to me and allows me to sit with a piece of writing and let it marinate and evolve (as opposed to weekly, which a lot of other writers here do). Topics usually reflect whatever is capturing my attention at any given time, and are often inspired by conversations in my real-life therapy room (though I don’t share the stories of my clients, for obvious reasons). I take breaks when I’m travelling etc. to keep myself fresh and make sure that the writing doesn’t start to feel like a burden or a chore.

8. What tools or methods do you use to stay on top of your writing schedule?

 I’m probably not a good role model here. I don’t have any strategies. Writing is something I really enjoy, so I sneak it in whenever I can. Ideas often come to me when I’m walking, on my yoga mat, or in the shower, and I rush to a notepad or laptop to scribble it down. I haven’t needed to discipline myself (so far). The problem is more that I find myself working on pieces for Substack instead of writing reports or doing accounts for the other parts of my business (right now, for example, I had promised myself I would work on my end-of-year taxes!) 

9. On average, how much time do you spend working on your Substack each day or week?

 It’s very ad hoc and varies a lot from week to week. I write when the ideas flow, and have multiple pieces in draft at any given time. As my newsletter publishing day approaches, I devote some time to editing, searching for images, etc. At that stage, probably a few hours go into each post.

10. How do you juggle your Substack with other commitments in your life?

 I’m fortunate that I work part-time and have quite a lot of control over my time. However, I find Substack a little addictive. I hop online to check my notifications and can easily lose myself in a rabbit hole of great writing and conversation. I sometimes need to check myself on how much time I spend here, as the main sources of my work and income are elsewhere and sometimes need to be prioritised.

11.   How do you care for yourself?

Daily yoga has been pivotal to my self-care for over a decade now. It’s the first thing I do when I roll out of bed, it shakes me out of my morning fog, shifts me into my body, and sets me up for the day. As self-help writer Louise Hay once said ‘How you start your day is how you live your day. How you live your day is how you live your life’.

I have also found, through recovering from an autoimmune disease, that I need to schedule plenty of quiet time and rest. When life is busy, I try to pay attention to regulating my nervous system, as that is the thing that burns me out the fastest. I’ve come to believe that a regulated nervous system is possibly the single most beneficial thing we can do for our physical and emotional well-being. This is one of the themes I write about on my Substack.

12.  What’s a book you’ve read recently that had a big impact on you?

 If I had to choose just one, it would be Toko-pa Turner’s ‘Belonging’. It’s a deeply spiritual book, with beautiful poetic language. Belonging seems to be such a primal and universal longing for all of us humans and Toko-pa has a deep intuitive understanding of this journey. I’m very inspired by her style of writing.

I also recently enjoyed Lisa Marchiano’s ‘The Vital Spark’ and Sharon Blackie’s ‘Hagitude’, which both speak to our journey as women through the portal of midlife and have resonated very strongly with me as I travel through that portal myself.

13.  Where are you finding joy when things don’t go to plan?

 Simple things. My two kitties generate smiles and joy on a daily basis. I love a good book or podcast. Listening to music and dancing when I have the house to myself. Yoga. Walking on the beach or around the beautiful suburb where my office is located in Auckland. I also try to come back to a sense of trust and acceptance that life has its own plan, which is not necessarily the same as the one that lives in my head.

14.  What are you working on right now?

The last year has been a big one, with two trips to Europe, a wedding, and house renovations, as well as growing my Substack and running my business. Right now, I’m working on carving out some quiet time and rest. We’re in the depths of winter here in Auckland, so that helps. Winter-time seems to give permission to cocoon for a while, which is exactly what I need. I have some initial seeds of ideas for bigger writing projects starting to take shape, but they are too tiny and delicate to share just yet.

Thank you Vicki for sharing and agreeing to this interview. Before I bring today’s interview to end, I want to include the article from Vicki that spoke to me the most.

There’s something about listing 20 things we learned or discovered that stands out and many of us can relate. Have a read.

20 things I've learned from 20 years in the therapy room

Thank you for your attention, reading, and support. It means more than you know.

** Photo by Debby Hudson on Unsplash