On October 18th last year, something happened.
As I watched the instructor interact with other students, I started questioning why I was even here and taking this 18-month course; I didn’t have time for it anymore. I don’t even know if I am still interested in coaching. Do I even still believe this whole coaching thing is worth it?
I almost closed my laptop and ditched this training program for good.
During the class, I was totally out of it. My mind was all over the place, and I couldn't focus on anything. I was second-guessing myself and all the dumb choices I'd made.
I often get myself into the bonkers mess.
As I'm sitting in this hideous yellow room, staring at the laptop with a blank look on my face, my head is spinning.
It's only been five months since I finished that prolonged Operational Management Foundation degree. It was intense, time-consuming, and took a lot of effort, but I made it through. And now, here I am, putting myself through it all over again!
Do I want to be a coach in the future? Do I need more coaching qualifications besides the two I already have? When will it be enough? Do I even want to be a manager anymore? To be honest, I hate my job. I have more passion for hating it than I ever had for liking it.
How come the scale can switch up so fast?
That was the moment I figured out something wasn't right. How did I even get here? I already knew why I felt that way, but I didn't realise it was that bad until then.
So, around mid-last year in June, I got called into a meeting with the site manager and someone from HR. It was surprising since I never got into any trouble. Honestly, I was always trying to do my best and even put in an extra hour of work every day. You know, showing up earlier than everyone else and staying later — just following the usual corporate unspoken rules.
"Your additional responsibility payment is going to stop" — this is how the site manager opened up the meeting. “We would still like you to continue as you are in the same role, do more, take extra responsibility and invest more hours, but the payment will stop”.
"Your position no longer exists. We don't recognise it". (This is not an exact paraphrasing; it is the gist of what the site manager has told me. I cannot recall precise words because it felt like a bombshell just dropped at me, and there's no formal record of this).
Wait, the position doesn't exist? Then how can I continue with the same responsibilities? Oh, I see, the position exists, but you don't want to pay an extra £200 each month.
I walked off the meeting thinking this must be some poorly timed and even more poorly executed joke.
Oh boy, was I wrong?
The truth is, I was wrong. I had three more meetings after that first one, and each one was worse than the last. We were going around and around, calmly disagreeing about whether my position was even a thing or not.
The details of a meeting are less significant than the impact it makes.
Every time I met with my site manager, I felt stunned by how he treated me. He was my direct manager for over five years, and we used to get along great. We were always professional, but we also laughed and joked around. I even considered him a friend.
Usually, at work, I don't let things get to me personally. But this time, it poked a nerve.
After each meeting, my confidence in my ability to do my job well evaporated, which did not even make sense, as their objective was not the performance but the reward.
Management, which used to be my great passion, now feels like a wasted decade.
[When did we start getting more work and responsibilities without any extra rewards? And are managers just supposed to accept it and pretend to like it while they eat garbage?]
People often think that burnout is only related to work. But the reality is that it can have an impact on other areas of life as well1.
Things that were once fun and easy to do can become a pain in the butt. I’ve been spinning too many plates for too long. One has already dropped. Now I worry, what else will slip away next?
In 2011, I got really serious about my career and enrolled in as many management courses as I could.
My interest in coaching peaked, and in 2015, I started my first coaching qualification. Between 2015 and 2020, I completed personal performance coaching, NLP, NLP Master program, and corporate coaching.
In early 2016, I thought of coaching as my next career move that would eventually help me work for myself. Working for myself always seemed appealing to me. And it was the aim I was working towards. My schedule reflected it. My work ethic was strong.
I was willing to pay opportunity costs for this long-term goal.
In 2023, I published my first ever Skillshare class; in July, I joined the Substack.
The road was bumpy, but I was on the way to the big goal I set all those years ago.
Until burnout crept in and started chipping away and sucking out the joy of the job I once adored and from the side projects that were so meaningful to me and kept me pushing through unrealistic deadlines and countless obstacles.
My legs were no longer standing on the steady ground. Overscheduling my calendar resembled more of an avoidance than progress.
What is burnout?
Burnout is a combination of mental and physical exhaustion. Leave untreated, and it can lead to some catastrophic mental and physical effects2. Companies need to have a solid plan to help their employees bounce back from burnout3.
After my experience, I was not going to count on them.
The term burnout was first coined in 1975 by Herbert Freudenberger4, and it was defined by three components:
emotional exhaustion — “caring too much for too long” ✅
depersonalisation — “the depletion of empathy, caring, and compassion” ✅
decreased sense of accomplishment — “no matter what you do, it’s not enough” ✅
Looking at the three points above, it looks like I hit the jackpot, just not the right kind…
So, at the start of this year, I realised that unless I pulled myself out of this dump, no one would get me out.
And I will document all of it in my weekly publication.
One thing is clear: it will take a lot of work. There’s no quick remedy. But if you could relate to my introduction story of how burnout became part of my daily life, you might join my recovery and get through your burnout experience. Even better, avoid burnout altogether and leave it at the door.
So, what is my first step?
The first step was to simplify my workload to the point where I could take a time out, go for a walk, read a good book and not feel guilty about not making enough progress.
Simplifying does not mean I will now lay on the sofa and binge with a pack of crisps and 5% raspberry Smirnoff, yet still get tipsy enough to look at life through the pretty lens. 😂
It means dropping non-essentials and putting intentional effort into activities that will raise all good hormones5 to pull me out of my funk.
I lowered my expectations regarding how much I could squeeze into my schedule and simplified it to the one essential focus for 2024. To get better.
To feel incrementally better than I felt before I started.
To feel mentally balanced.
To feel good and confident about what I’ve accomplished so far.
Stop attaching my self-worth to the failed trials.
This process, of course, is easier said than done. There’s a lot to dig through to get to the absolute bottom of the burnout, and then, there’s a long way to pull yourself back up.
Whenever you struggle, the same advice hits you over and over. This advice could be abbreviated (and as soon as you read those three capital letters, you will know precisely what advice it is) — ready?
S.E.F.
Sleep. Exercise. Food (healthy kind, that is).
Sleep. I am mentally exhausted, yet I would rather binge-watch something (even total garbage) than go to bed early.
Why is that? There’s no answer for this one yet!
Food. No problem here. I will eat anything that promises to lift my mood. Well, almost anything.
Exercise. That is the only part of advice I have no problem with at all. Walking, yes, sure, even in the rain.
Running. Religiously. If I decide to run on Saturday, I’ll do it even when I’m ill I’ll climb on that treadmill with a box of Kleenex.
I think my sense of commitment is sickness but that’s a whole new post for another day.
I appreciate this was no short read. It had to happen in order to start peeling off the reason behind feelings and the right now.
There will be more ‘burnout’ posts with more actionable tips for recovery. For the time being, I would recommend you consider reviewing your schedule, choosing your one essential for this year, and considering what you can ‘non-essentialise’.
It will take a while before you get through the backlog of stresses that led you here.
For now, be sure to schedule S.E.F. into your weekly schedule, even if it means one longer sleep, one set of 10 minutes of exercise and one healthier dinner this week. This is not me preaching; I am going through this process with you.
The next articles on burnout will be more actionable, including tips and techniques to get out of this funk.
Until next week,
Jana
As part of the
Friday office party, Sara challenged us to find the readers for our next post and connect. In response, I decided to write about burnout and wanted to find readers who could relate to it. During the discussion, shared that she also struggles with burnout, and I hope my post will be relatable to her. Additionally, added burnout to her topics for future posts, so I thought she might enjoy reading my post on the topic.
I'm autistic, Audhd, so I was thinking autistic burnout, but it sounds very similar. I'm so sorry about your job - that part sounds awful. I get to a place where my mind just stops working. I don't have any more words. And I try to avoid that obv, but I'm also ADHD and want to do do do do do all the time and sign up for way too many classes and get certified in way too many things. I promised I wouldn't anymore, and I'm doing a bit better. Just waiting to finish up the things I've got going (2 more weeks) and the sched will feel more do-able. And I won't hit a wall and have to nap in the afternoon to get ready to teach in the evenings!
The new format you have going makes for very interesting reads. I found this very informative and relatable
I’m looking forward to seeing how your journey progresses
I got burnt out recently and went the opposite way of basically complete procrastination. And have struggled to get back into any sort of groove
I will come back next week to see what tips you share