Closing the stress cycle

Goddamn revelation from recently stumbled upon concept in Emily and Amelia Nagoski's book "Burnout: The Secret to Solving the Stress Cycle."

Let's talk about stress, shall we? Not the "my manager is breathing down my neck about the stats reports" kind of stress. I mean the deep, insidious, bone-deep exhaustion that comes from years of corporate monotony. The kind that makes you want to scream into the void every Sunday night when you realize tomorrow is Monday. Again. 

Here's the thing: that stress? It's killing you—slowly, surely, one pointless meeting at a time. And if you want to make it out alive (and sane) to pursue your dreams of writing on Substack, you need to learn how to deal with it (I do, too). 

I recently stumbled upon this concept in Emily and Amelia Nagoski's book “Burnout: The Secret to Solving the Stress Cycle.” And let me tell you, it was a goddamn revelation. 

The Stress Cycle: It's Not Just You, It's Biology 

Here's the deal: stress isn't just a feeling. It's a whole biological process that happens in your body. Your brain perceives a threat (like that passive-aggressive email from your manager’s manager), and suddenly you're flooded with hormones. Your heart races, your muscles tense, and you're ready to either fight a bear or run away screaming. 

The problem?- there are no bears to fight. Just endless Outlook emails and "quick catch-up meetings" that somehow last an hour. So that stress response just... lingers. It builds up, day after day, until you're a tightly wound ball of anxiety and resentment. 

But. Dealing with the source of your stress doesn't actually deal with the stress itself. 

Mind. Blown. 

Dealing with your stress is a separate process from dealing with the things that cause your stress. To deal with your stress, you have to complete the cycle.¹ 

Just because you’ve dealt with the stressor doesn’t mean you’ve dealt with the stress itself.² 

Closing the Loop: How to Actually Deal With Your Stress 

So how do you "complete the stress cycle" and actually get rid of all that built-up fight-or-flight energy? The Nagoski sisters suggest a few methods: 

1. Physical activity: Yeah, I know. Exercise. Ugh. But 20-60 minutes of movement can work wonders. Maybe try rage-running while remembering your manager’s manager's recent email? 

2. Breathing: Take a deep breath. Now let it out while imagining all the frustrations of your day leaving your body. Repeat until you no longer feel the urge to flip tables. 

3. Positive social interaction: Talk to someone who doesn't make you want to gouge your eyes out. Bonus points if they make you laugh. 

4. Laughter: Speaking of which, find something that gives you a genuine belly laugh. Maybe those TikToks of people falling down? (No judgment here.) 

5. Affection: Hug someone you love for a full 20 seconds. It'll feel awkward, but your brain will thank you. 

6. Crying: Sometimes, you just need a good ugly cry. Let it out, friend. 

7. Creative expression: Channel that corporate rage into art. (You don’t have to be good at it; you’re not planning an exhibition).

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The Final thought

Now, I know what you're thinking. "Great, another thing to add to my to-do list. As if I don't have enough to do already." I get it. But here's the thing: if you want to make it out of the corporate world with your sanity intact and actually have the energy to build your Substack publication, you need to start dealing with your stress now. 

Think of it as training for your new life. Every time you close the stress cycle, you're building resilience. You're proving to yourself that you can handle whatever comes your way. And trust me, when you're staring at a blank page, trying to come up with your next brilliant newsletter idea, you're going to need that resilience. 

So start small. Maybe today, instead of stress-eating another stale donut from the break room, you take a quick walk around the block. Tomorrow, try a few deep breaths before you dive into your inbox.  

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some stress to go deal with. These newsletter deadlines aren't going to meet themselves. 

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📢 Shout outs to the Substack community

While preparing this week's article, I searched the Substack for publications on burnout, specifically burnout recovery. To my surprise, there's plenty. Most stay within the 'coming soon' section, which is what burnout can do to you. You want to share your story, and it would resonate (I mean, the number of publications which start out intending to cover burnout speaks for itself —there are many), but the lowest points of burnout can make you feel there's no point in the beginning, who's going to read it. I hope and wish they would begin so that we can bounce off each other's ideas. 

However, I have found some that have been providing a lot of helpful content, and it's worth mentioning at least a few. 

I've been reading through an extensive archive from

Conquering Burnout

; there's a lot to cover, but it helps me piece together my current experience and find actionable tips. Check them out if you are searching for good burnout content. I'd especially recommend the article: I Hit My Limit Point: Here's What Happened and What I Learned From It! 

There's also ABL #4: A Framework for Navigating Burnout by

Anti-Burnout Life

, which provides the four-step framework for organising scattered thoughts and might help you with burnout, too. The least said it's an interesting read. 

Another fascinating and surprisingly relatable archive (surprisingly, as I am not a doctor) I've been burying myself in comes from

Dr Claire Ashley

from

The Burnout Doctor Journal

I'd recommend it. 

Finally, I've been bashing on about Burnout: The Secret to Solving the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski.

Emily Nagoski

can be found here on Substack, so check her out. 

1. Burnout: The Secret to Solving the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski

2. Burnout: The Secret to Solving the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski