How can I become free from feeling stuck?

There will be days when you question every life choice that led you to this point.

Let's talk about that nagging feeling of being stuck. You know, the one that creeps up on you during your third Zoom meeting of the day, whispering that there's got to be more to life than this.  

There is.  

But – changing your life, really changing it, isn't an overnight process. We're talking about a journey, and like any good story, it's going to take some time to unfold. 

The Three-Year Plan (Don't Panic) 

Now, before you close this tab and go back to pretending to work on that spreadsheet, hear me out. Three years. That's a realistic timeframe to turn your life around. I know, I know – in the age of TikTok fame and overnight Substack sensations, three years sounds like an eternity. But unless you're planning to sell everything you own and become a digital nomad (which, hey, no judgment here), you're going to need some time to make this transition. 

Think about it. Three years ago, you were probably just learning what sourdough was. Now look at you, contemplating a career change that would make your parents question your life choices.

The Coaching Conundrum 

Now, let's address the elephant in the room: coaching. It seems like every successful person is touting the benefits of having a coach¹. Oprah's got one. Hugh Jackman's got one. Even Metallica had one. 

Eric Schmidt, Former Google CEO (coached by Bill Campbell)

"The one thing that people are never good at is seeing themselves as others see them. A coach really, really helps."

Bill Gates, Founder of Microsoft (coached by Bill Campbell)

"Everyone needs a coach. We all need people that give us feedback. That’s how we improve."

Oprah Winfrey, tv host (coached by Martha Beck)

"Coaching helps you stop the crazy mind chatter in your head that tells you all the time that you're not good enough."

Hugh Jackman, the Australian actor and singer

 "A coach just has a different perspective. The coach can see what you can't see because you're in the forest, they're outside of it."

Leonardo DiCaprio is an actor, producer, environmentalist, and philanthropist. Leonardo DiCaprio has a coach who helped him prepare for upcoming roles in the following style:

• Create a mission greater than yourself

• Feed your mind nourishing food

• Change your experience

• Get out of the mind and into the body

• Focus on what excites you.

Satya Nadella, CEO of Microsoft (coached by Michael Gervais)

"Every person, organisation, and even society reaches a point at which they owe it to themselves to hit refresh—to re-energise, renew, reframe, and rethink their purpose."

Alan Mulally, Former CEO of Ford (coached by Marshall Goldsmith)

"We were a very successful team who took our performance to the next level. With Marshall’s help, we identified our two areas and went to work. We used everyone’s help and support, exceeded our improvement expectations and had fun!"

Atul Gawande, surgeon & writer (coached by Robert Osteen)

"Coaching done well may be the most effective intervention designed for human performance."

Metallica is an American heavy metal band.

Phil Towle says he helps people “unlock their self-imposed obstacles” by making contact during that critical “moment of potential insight,” an awareness inspired by “seeds from the unconscious.”

But here's the thing – you don't necessarily need to drop a fortune on a fancy coach to get unstuck. The core principle of coaching is this: you already have the answers; you just need someone to ask the right questions. So, find that friend who always knows how to push your buttons (in a good way). The one who'll call you out and cheer you on when you're ready to call it “quits”. That's your unofficial coach right there. 

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Your 5 Rules of Substack 

1. Get out of your own head: That voice telling you you're not good enough? It's lying. Oprah says coaching helps quiet that mental chatter. I say a good playlist and a dance break can work wonders too. 

2. Embrace the feedback loop: Your corporate job probably taught you to fear feedback. On Substack, It's how you'll grow, adapt, and build a loyal readership. 

3. Change your experience: Leo DiCaprio's coach was onto something. You can't write about life from the confines of your cubicle. Start living the stories you want to tell. 

4. Focus on what excites you: Write about what sets your soul on fire, not what you think will get the most clicks. 

5. Create a mission greater than yourself: Your Substack isn't just about escaping. It's about connecting with others, sharing ideas, and maybe, just maybe, changing a few lives along the way. 

The Road Ahead 

There will be days when you question every life choice that led you to this point.  

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This is the eighth post out of 24 essays I plan to write as part of the Sparkle on Substack Essay Club to keep myself accountable and post regularly.

If life often gets in the way of your regular writing and you are a fellow Substacker (which many of you are), I'd recommend you join Claire Venus’s Sparkle on Substack’s Essay Club.

1. https://www.forbes.com/sites/joshwilson/2022/09/24/oprah-winfrey-hugh-jackman-and-other-celebrities-recommend-coaching-as-a-necessity-for-success/