Sometimes, life's most important lessons come when you're half-asleep on your sofa

Take a Break | Issue #5: Quarterly Update

You know what's funny? Sometimes, life's most important lessons come when you're half-asleep on your couch, and YouTube autoplay works its mysterious magic. But let me back up a bit.

This year, I did something radical – I took five whole days off. No laptop. No scheduled posts. No guilt (okay, maybe a little guilt). For context, my last real break was in 2019 when I climbed Ben Nevis in Scotland. I know, I know... the workaholic tendencies are strong with this one. 

Here's the thing: taking those five days felt impossible, like I was breaking some ‘unwritten rule of productivity’. The timing wasn't even my choice – I had promised to watch my ten-year-old niece for a weekend, which left me zero time to prepare my usual Wednesday post. And guess what? The world did not end and the Wednesday post went out.

Top left and the bottom right: snaps from my autumn walks, top middle: my niece and I, Halloween cat and my niece's kitten

We're all running on this endless treadmill of expectations of "shoulds" and "must-dos." Constantly chasing deadlines, setting impossible standards, and beating ourselves up when we fall short. We convince ourselves that everyone's watching our every move, counting our mistakes, noticing every deadline we miss or article we don't write. Eventually, we become our own harshest critics, playing that same exhausting track on repeat: "I'm falling behind. Everyone else is doing better. I'm just not good enough."

The truth is: that everyone's too busy being their critic to be your critic.

Let me confess something—I have this slightly addictive habit of watching (late at night) documentary-style videos about companies that went spectacularly wrong. (like Theranos, if you heard of this business scandal from 2017)), I dozed off and woke up to a TED talk about rest (The real reason why we are tired and what to do about it | Saundra Dalton-Smith)). The irony of learning about rest while falling asleep on my sofa isn't lost on me.

It was like we needed thirty minutes to talk and tell each other we needed rest. 

Anyhoo…

The speaker, Saundra Dalton-Smith, revealed this insight I wasn't quite ready for: there isn't just one type of rest – there are seven. Mental, spiritual, emotional, social, sensory, creative, and physical. To add a nice green tick next to each rest (achieved), you need to do different types of activity to rest up. 

When I heard this, I immediately went into planning mode: "How can I optimise my rest? How do I fit all of these types of rests into my already busy colour-coded calendar? Is there a rest KPI I should be tracking?"

Key takeaway? “The first step to conquering the rest deficit is to identify where you’re using the most energy in your day; then, you can focus your attention on getting the type of rest needed to restore those specific areas. Rest should equal restoration in one of the seven areas: mental, spiritual, emotional, social, sensory, creative and physical.”¹

But then I had to laugh at myself. Because isn't that exactly the kind of thinking that got us here in the first place?

Here's what I'm learning: rest isn't another task to perfect, rest isn't another checkbox on your to-do list—it's about giving yourself space to breathe, recharge, and just be. Dalton-Smith suggests taking breaks every two hours during work, but I'll go one step further—take them whenever you can, especially if your job makes you want to hide in the toilet cubicle.

Taking breaks is such a strong belief that I even wrote a whole guest post about it on

Matthew Long

‘s publication: Beyond the Bookshelf, (Thank you for including me!) It would help if you read it; it’s really good. (As an author, I am biased, though.)

Coffee, Books, and the Art of the Break

Let me give you a permission slip right now (because we all need it occasionally): It's okay to skip the article, postpone the deadline, or pause your usual commitments. The world will keep turning, your subscribers will still be there, and you'll return stronger.

As I write this, it's Thanksgiving for many of you, my friends – a holiday I never knew about growing up in Slovakia but have come to deeply appreciate. It feels fitting to end this reflection with gratitude. To every reader who's stuck with me, who hasn't hit that unsubscribe button, who takes the time to read these thoughts and share thoughtful comments – thank you. You make this journey worthwhile.

Now it's your turn – what are you grateful for? And more importantly, when was the last time you gave yourself permission to truly rest?

P.S. If you're reading this while taking a break, congratulations! You're already winning at this rest thing. 😉While you're here, taking your own moment of pause, let me share the articles you might have missed from the past quarter:

Three stories about the things we don't talk about enough: burning out when everyone else seems fine, the pressure to have a perfect five-year plan, and finding your own way through the chaos:

Rethinking Burnout: Lessons from Adam Grant's Think Again

The myth of the five-year plan (and what happens when you abandon it)

Achieving your big juicy goals is no accident, or is it?

Thoughtful conversations with

Courtney

and

Karen Smiley

sharing their creative journeys (Thank you both!):

Behind the Substack with Courtney

Behind the Substack with Karen Smiley

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I'll be honest – publishing every week is one of those things that sounds simple but feels like climbing a mountain in flip-flops (It’s 10:38, I publish at 11:00 and I am still finishing this post). 
But here's something that's kept me going: I joined the Sparkle on Substack Essay Club (partly to keep myself accountable, partly because I'm stubborn). I got mentioned in the Autumn Round-Up— Thank you. It's not why I'm doing this, but– sometimes those little nods help you keep going.

1. The real reason why we are tired and what to do about it | Saundra Dalton-Smith